The Five Chairs

🌿 Introduction

In our journey toward mindfulness and self-awareness, the way we communicate plays a pivotal role. Louise Evans, in her powerful TEDx talk, introduces The Five Chairs—a metaphorical framework that invites us to reflect on our behaviors and choices during interactions. Each chair represents a distinct response pattern and offers a path toward more conscious, compassionate communication.

Evans’ work is deeply inspired by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (NVC) framework. Rosenberg’s method—based on observing without judgment, expressing feelings honestly, identifying underlying needs, and making kind, actionable requests—forms the philosophical bedrock of this model.

“What others say and do may be the stimulus for our feelings, but not the cause.”
— Marshall Rosenberg

Like NVC, the Five Chairs remind us that every reaction is a choice—and every conversation is an opportunity to either divide or deepen connection.

🪑 The Five Chairs Explained

1. The Red Chair – The Jackal (Attack)
This chair represents reactive tendencies like blame, judgment, and criticism. When we sit here, we project frustration onto others, often escalating conflict. (the5chairs.com)

2. The Yellow Chair – The Hedgehog (Self-Doubt)
Here, we internalize negativity. We retreat, question our self-worth, and fall into self-blame. It’s a space shaped by insecurity and fear.

3. The Green Chair – The Meerkat (Pause & Observe)
The seat of curiosity and presence. We pause and become observers—of others, and of ourselves. Judgment is replaced by awareness, and space opens for understanding. (YouTube, Amazing People)

4. The Blue Chair – The Dolphin (Detect & Regulate)
Here, we become mindful detectives of our emotional patterns. We choose thoughtful, values-aligned responses instead of falling into old reactions.

5. The Purple Chair – The Giraffe (Connect)
Symbolizing the animal with the largest heart, this chair is the space of empathy, authenticity, and compassion. We listen with the heart and speak from a place of deep human connection—an emblem Rosenberg also used to represent Nonviolent Communication.

🧘 Integrating the Chairs into Mindful Practice

The Five Chairs model harmonizes naturally with mindfulness principles—awareness, presence, emotional regulation, and intention. The beauty of this framework lies in its simplicity: in any interaction, we can notice where we are seated internally—and choose to move.

Shifting from the reactive Red Chair to the observant Green Chair, or from the fearful Hedgehog to the heart-led Giraffe, helps us respond instead of react—fostering more meaningful, peaceful relationships.

🌟 A Spiritual Reflection: Guru Maharaj’s View on Behavior

In the teachings of Dr. Chaturbhuj Sahay Ji, lovingly known as Guru Maharaj, behavior is not just a byproduct of spiritual practice—it is the proof of it.

“The real sign of progress on the spiritual path is improved behavior.”
— Guru Maharaj

If the Five Chairs are mirrors showing us how we show up in the world, Guru Maharaj reminds us that the goal is not perfection—but purification. A truly awakened being does not just preach peace—they embody it.

🌿 The Giraffe Ideal: Guided by Stillness and Strength

Guru Maharaj would gently point us to the Giraffe Chair—the seat of loving awareness and authentic communication. But he would also honor the alertness of the Meerkat, and the conscious emotional regulation of the Dolphin.

Together, these qualities reflect the very essence of yogic behavior as taught in Ashtanga Yoga, especially the foundational principles of Yama and Niyama.

Guru Maharaj often emphasized that we don't master these virtues before we meditate. Rather, they emerge as a result of sincere spiritual practice.

When we meditate regularly, when we attend Satsang, when we walk the path of inner stillness—we naturally become less reactive, more compassionate, and increasingly aware of our impact. We begin, organically, to leave the Red Chair behind—and rise into the Giraffe.

🎥 Further Exploration

Think back to a conversation that didn’t go well. Perhaps you felt misunderstood or reacted in a way that didn’t align with your values. Using the Five Chairs as a lens, reflect:

What chair was I sitting in?
What might have changed if I moved to another?

This simple act of inquiry cultivates self-awareness and gives us the power to transform our interactions—one mindful breath at a time.

To explore more:

🌸 Closing Reflection

By embracing the wisdom of the Five Chairs—and anchoring it in the spiritual teachings of Guru Maharaj—we begin to walk the true path of Satsang. Not one of theory, but of daily, embodied grace.

Because communication is not just a skill.
It is a spiritual practice.

Feel free to share your experiences or insights in the comments below. Let's continue the conversation on mindful and nonviolent communication.

Back to NEWSLETTER